PROSE I


The 18th century writer and composer Jean-Jacques Rousseau said, that “Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet” and he absolutely knew what the core of patience is. If I still relate on the fruit, it takes time, the input energy, effort and love before the plant itself grows and even more when it starts to „produce” any fruit; whether it´s about the field, garden or the balcony version of it. Every time I see my skinny green plant “throwing out” on her own a new flower, a big smile appears on my face. It´s like a birth process to me. I know that in this case the effort is bigger from it side, than from mine, because so far I am only good putting fresh cut flowers in a vase full of water (of course, I mind this), then diligently and regularly change this water with fresh one. Any step further in the horticulture world is like a “Cul-de-Sac” (dead-end street) for me. I cannot handle it. Yet.  Yes, the knowledge is not everything, if you cannot transmit it into a daily use. No succeed (yet) as the way I want it or it should be respectively.  It will. One day. Because I am trying. And I don´t care if it will be a matter of my stubbornness or of the willing to transmit the real “know-how” theory to the even more real reality.  I want it. That´s the point. I do care that my tiny and at first look fragile plant is not left to itself. Ok, she gets the water and she “sunbathe” enough. But this cannot be everything. A lonely, occasionally flower is not enough. 
Also German for example, which in the last few months is amusing me, is not self-evident. Not at all. I am a polyglot by nature, but this language is slower and harder to pop. Placid learning, beside my stormy personality, is fruitful. After four months of learning, “Guten Morgen” (Good Morning), “Danke” (Thank you) and few numbers, are now only a shadow of themselves. With no problem I can now walk around in any German-speaking city, without having anymore that shyly feeling of not being  able to order a coffee, or something more than a “Wiener schnitzel” (Viennese cutlet), to ask for direction or even to exchange anecdotes with local people. Now is really fluently and without the “aaa” intermezzo. A step towards to reach the goal: to perfectly master the language. Yes, with patience and effort. Here we are again. Without them, that cannot work. 
It´s really a good pleasure for me, every time when I am able to praise myself, because I did something good, in the way I should did. Mind that I have really high and strict standards (I am the worst pain in the ass to myself) and it´s not always that easy to reach. Shopping is one of my hard-to-leave nightmares. Well, not to me, but for my bank account.  It´s not an addiction, but in past I bought things that I liked, without needing them. It´s really banal example, ok, but not that much when you realize that my bank account breaths now more freely and without “the help” of various by-passes and similarities. To contain my impulsiveness is not that simple, so to be able to transmit this point onto the common sense part, instead of the heart-wish part, it´s (finally) the sign, that I get a grip on myself and that I react more mature. It was really a time. There is always the “but” thing here. In the end, the beautifully composed domino collapse, when I don´t take enough time to write this text properly. Blame it on spontaneous now!

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